The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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