Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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