This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Randomize
