does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
