I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize