he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
