She went from zero to smokin in five shots
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
