note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
