If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just pynch a tree in the face
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
As shirtless as possible
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
