so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
