Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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