would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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