oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
