we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize