She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
