I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
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We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
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It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize