Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
