Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
