I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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