my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize