these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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