So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
