we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
