i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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