your thong is hanging out like whoa
Its about making memories worth repressing
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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