This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
