You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
