The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
