Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
