Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
