There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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