therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
