Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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