Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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