Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
