Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
