WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
