she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
