I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
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She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
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Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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