Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
