i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
