Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
