I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
