I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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