I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
