can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
