what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
