Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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