loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Randomize
