His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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