you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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