So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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