I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Randomize
