What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
