see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
