I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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