I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
